Since Josh got hurt in January of 2007, we have had lots of deal with and grow accustomed to. One of the things we have not had to deal with is extra health issues.

Josh got sick after minor surgery in October and it seemed to carry on forever. He finally recovered totally after about a month. Since the first of January we are back to more health issues. He has spent, by far, the majority of his days in bed since then.

Over the last three years, Josh has become very independent in his day to day life during the day. He needs help getting up and getting in bed; the time spent in between is mostly help-free. He spends a good portion of his day working on different projects in his office, meeting with different people, and just general life. I get his lunch ready, pour his coffee, just basic things that I probably should have done more of even before he got hurt. None of this takes any major amount of time. Just our new normal.

So, now that he has been down for the count, things have changed. Drastically. He calls me to itch his neck, to change the TV channel, to just come and lay by him. Many days, he never comes out of our bedroom at all. This has become extremely taxing emotionally on Josh. In the past year or so, he has become so much more aware of how his situation affects me. It is difficult for him to know that his paralysis and absolute need for help stresses me out. We are in a difficult situation.

Then I look at the situations many others are in and know that we are blessed. Josh is still here with us. His mind is the same as it was before he was hurt. Our kids bring us great joy. God has provided for us in ways we never dreamed possible.

All the same, we are still having a hard time. Please pray for Josh's emotional and physical wellbeing. Pray for our sanity. Pray that we can keep a Christ-like attitude when I feel like throwing a grown-up sized temper tantrum.

Thanking God for grace.


angie said...

Thanks for your vulnerability in sharing this Shelly.

God, please bless Shelly and Josh in their lives together. You've accomplished so much in and through them. I pray that you will give them both an extra amount of endurance to get through these "sickly" days Josh has been experiencing. Help them to tap into your power on a minute by minute basis if need be! You are a wonderfully powerful, comforting and peaceful God. We love you and trust that you are holding the Bucks in the middle of your nail scarred hand.

In your name I pray, Amen.

Love and hugs through cyber space to you today Shelly.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever read A Step Further by Joni Earckson? I recently found the book amongst a tucked away box in a closet . . my parents gave it to me back in 1979 . . .what a different perspective I have reading it as a 40+ year old vs a 12year old who knew nothing of life's hardships & disappointments. But what an encouraging book! In one chapter she talks about Paul pleading three times for the Lord to take his "thorn" from him . .but He did not . .rather, said, "My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness . . ." and 2 Cor 12:9-10 . . .for when I am weak, than I am strong . . One of my favorite parts so far, tho' is when we ask "why" and don't get answers & don't understand, she uses the analogy of a horseman covering the horse's head with a blanket to get them calmly out of a burning barn . . why would the horse trust when it cannot see & chaos is all around? Because its master is in control & there is an established trust there. "He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-how will He not also along with him, graciously give us all things?" Rom 8.32 "If God has done that for us, surely He has proved his intentions. When He covers our eyes with the blanket of a limited understanding, surely He deserves to be given the "benefit of the doubt" to put it mildly. . . " (Pg 85-86) I found that encouraging. She never says it is EASY to suffer or that we'll like it & enjoy it, just gives some perspective. I think of your family often & pray for you.

Devon said...

i remember finding your blog shortly after josh got hurt...wondering how someone goes on after losing a child and the tragedy of your husband's accident. and then in 2008 i lost my twin boys at just 2 and 3 days old and i became "one of them." you are such a strong woman and i love your posts about loss...i think we will always ask "why" but i am beginning to learn that i just need to trust HIS heart....and to remember that he will redeem all of this!

thank you for sharing your heart...god bless you.

Anonymous said...

I have read your blog off and on for several years. My husband was also paralyzed. His injury was a C4-5 quad from a car accident. He passed away a year ago after 33 years in the chair. He was 57 years old. He was my best friend, my soul mate. I miss him terrible. Taking care of him for 30 years was the joy of my life. It is Faith that gets me through each day. You are so blessed to have Josh in your life. Cherish everyday!!!!

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