Josh is alwaaaaaays cold. I, on the other hand, am NOT.
Today, I control the thermostat.
Gonna order room service and not leave the room until tomorrow. Aaaaah (contented sigh)...
Snuggling
I'm all snuggled up in the hotel room, the smell of the down blankets and pillows. The A/C is on full blast. I love it.
Nights away
My hubby sent me away. I love him for it. There is something about getting away for a night or two that just refreshes this momma's soul. After a crazy three weeks (see the previous post from yesterday), I needed a break. Josh's dad came for a visit and to help with the two older kids, and my mom and sister got in on the fun with Ephram. So, I'm sitting here, doing a bunch of nothing and loving it. And will continue to do it until lunch on Friday. Yaaaay!!!!
Life got hectic for a while. Thankfully it seems like we are getting back to normal...which is still hectic, but "predictable hectic."
Ephram got his first set of stitches on Sunday. He was playing in the top bunk with his sister and cousin and all of a sudden, I hear one of the girls screaming, "He's bleeding!" but in a panicky sort of way. I was being the non-supervising mom that I am and helping Josh in the bedroom when I heard the ruckus. Thankfully, Ephram calmed down pretty quickly and we headed out to the ER.
I was disappointed to have to miss church AGAIN, after having missed the last three weeks in a row with Josh being sick. Which is where the real stress was.
Josh went in to have a baclofen pump installed (a little metal hockey puck looking thingie that is in his abdomen and pumps the drug into his spinal column). We were supposed to be there all of about 24 hours. We figured we would be back up and running in the next few days. Wrong.
Josh got a spinal fluid leak, which in itself, is really not a huge deal. The problem was, no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the stinkin' thing to stop leaking. Josh ended up spending two weeks, with horrible headaches, lots of puking, and lots of laying flat on his back. Frustrating, but I knew he wasn't dying.
It was hard for Noah, who thought daddy was back at Mary Free Bed for the long haul like last time (three months) no matter how I tried to explain to him that daddy was just going to be gone a few days.
All in all, Josh was down for about 2 weeks and is now doing waaaay better.
We are now back to working on our new ministry that God has laid on our hearts called Real Time Church. We are excited to see where God is leading this. It's also nice to have this sense of peace, knowing we are doing exactly what the Lord is asking of us.
Ephram got his first set of stitches on Sunday. He was playing in the top bunk with his sister and cousin and all of a sudden, I hear one of the girls screaming, "He's bleeding!" but in a panicky sort of way. I was being the non-supervising mom that I am and helping Josh in the bedroom when I heard the ruckus. Thankfully, Ephram calmed down pretty quickly and we headed out to the ER.
I was disappointed to have to miss church AGAIN, after having missed the last three weeks in a row with Josh being sick. Which is where the real stress was.
Josh went in to have a baclofen pump installed (a little metal hockey puck looking thingie that is in his abdomen and pumps the drug into his spinal column). We were supposed to be there all of about 24 hours. We figured we would be back up and running in the next few days. Wrong.
Josh got a spinal fluid leak, which in itself, is really not a huge deal. The problem was, no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the stinkin' thing to stop leaking. Josh ended up spending two weeks, with horrible headaches, lots of puking, and lots of laying flat on his back. Frustrating, but I knew he wasn't dying.
It was hard for Noah, who thought daddy was back at Mary Free Bed for the long haul like last time (three months) no matter how I tried to explain to him that daddy was just going to be gone a few days.
All in all, Josh was down for about 2 weeks and is now doing waaaay better.
We are now back to working on our new ministry that God has laid on our hearts called Real Time Church. We are excited to see where God is leading this. It's also nice to have this sense of peace, knowing we are doing exactly what the Lord is asking of us.
Loss
Loss seems to be everywhere.
Not the kind of loss like I lost my keys.
Loss like I am ready for heaven.
People all around me are suffering. In the past 5 days, two different families have come to my attention after losing babies. Both of them were about 6 months old. Loss. Why?
I talk with my girlfriend who is dealing with her daughter having a brain tumor. Loss.
Children losing their childhood. Brothers and sisters losing their innocence.
With all this pain in this world, why do I cling to a God who could heal and yet doesn't? Or does he, just not like we ask?
When I feel like there are no answers for these questions, I think of what my life would be like without my faith and trust in God.
Ugly.
There is so little that one person can do for another. So, I do the one thing I can. PRAY!
Pray that the God of all Comfort will guard these families minds and hearts and use these circumstances to grow closer to Him. To the truth that sets us free.
Not the kind of loss like I lost my keys.
Loss like I am ready for heaven.
People all around me are suffering. In the past 5 days, two different families have come to my attention after losing babies. Both of them were about 6 months old. Loss. Why?
I talk with my girlfriend who is dealing with her daughter having a brain tumor. Loss.
Children losing their childhood. Brothers and sisters losing their innocence.
With all this pain in this world, why do I cling to a God who could heal and yet doesn't? Or does he, just not like we ask?
When I feel like there are no answers for these questions, I think of what my life would be like without my faith and trust in God.
Ugly.
There is so little that one person can do for another. So, I do the one thing I can. PRAY!
Pray that the God of all Comfort will guard these families minds and hearts and use these circumstances to grow closer to Him. To the truth that sets us free.
Praying
I've been doing a lot of praying lately. For one specific thing. During my quiet time this morning, I was reading about answered prayer. It got me thinking.
What happens if God chooses not to answer the way I want Him to? I know He will answer. I just may not like his answer. It causes me to ask some questions that I am not sure I want the answer to.
There have been numerous times in my life where I prayed and the answer was no. I remember while doing CPR on Ava, crying out to God to save her, knowing HE could, but he chose not to. I remember after Josh got hurt, praying for God to heal him, yet again, he chose not to.
Why would I choose to follow a Lord who allows me so much pain? Why is there so much pain we have to suffer? Why does God choose to heal some and not others? So many questions that will probably not be answered on this side of heaven.
Then I remember. How would I have ever made it through the trials in life without him? HE was the one who sustained me through my grief. He was the one who stood by me when no one else knew what to say. He was the one who carried me through when I thought I could not take another breath.
So, what happens if God's answer is "no" to my ever pleading request?
I know God will still be God. I will not question his sovereignty. He has proved that to me time and again. I will continue to question pain. Why he chooses to heal some and not others. If praying for healing will change God's mind or if it is more for me.
All I know is that if I continue to seek God, and not rely on the things of this world, I will continue to be sustained by my Father, the one who created the Earth, the one who created me, the one who cares about me, the one who cares about my heart.
