sick

Why do mom's have to get sick??? Doesn't the Lord know I don't have time for this? :-) Josh is pulling daddy duty with movie night tonight and I'm heading to bed early. Throwing up is not a classy act. Oh well.

Today I let Noah mow the grass with me, even though I could only go half as fast. I just wanted to get it over with. But if you know Noah, you know the boy is obsessed with tractors. So, I let him "help" me for a little while to get his fill. When he got off he says, "Aren't you going to say thank-you mommy?" Like he was my big helper...hah hah. Thought that was cute.

9th

Today is our 9th anniversary.  All of our family forgot. Anniversaries are a pretty big deal around here. You can imagine the horror when my mom called about a half-hour ago, spitting apologies. The only reason she remembered is she got a reminder call from my sister. I had to tell my sister tonight. Josh told my brother-in-law. It actually makes me smile. 
It was a pretty big one for us. Life has changed a lot in the last nine years. I'm happy with the choice I made when I decided to devote my life to this man who lays beside me. Life has thrown us a few curve balls but we're in this together.

Today I held up Ephram by the sink and let him play in the water for about five minutes. Even though I knew what a mess it would make...his little squeals made it all worth it.

>>> why the blog changes? <

Many of you have been following this blog for a while. We had a major format change about a year and a half ago. So many of you might ask, "why change it again???"

Two reasons.

One, the new blog is a bit more visual. You have to admit that same old palm tree was getting kind of lame.

Two, more importantly, the new blog is easier for me to update and to add content to. I need some serious help in this area.

The basic problem so far is that we have lost thousands of comments. Josh has not given up on trying to find them in cyber space... but we will see. I'm not making any promises.

Anyway, hope you like it. Yippee!

finding my joy

I know my true joy comes from God but this is an area I struggle with.  I think laid back people are generally more joyful than intense people. I know I am intense. I am reminded of it every day, many times over (usually by myself as in I drive myselfcrazy). 
So, I read a lot of blogs. There are so many women who have it all together. They wake up and their house is neat and breakfast is not a crazy struggle. They love cuddling with their kids and taking walks. They love baking cookies together and picking flowers. Don't get me wrong. I do enjoy doing these things. I just have to work at it. 
When I wake up, it is usually to chaos. Noah needs his meds, Josh's nurse is coming in the door, Ephram has wet through his sheets for the third time this week, and Zoe is starving. Making eggs sounds like too much work because then I will have to clean a dirty pan. Who wants Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Healthy, I know. I have learned to make eggs in the microwave. I am the queen of microwave pancakes. 

So, am I am normal? Why do I have to work at it? Why am I not just a bit more "chill," a little more "Urban Outfitters" which is a whole nother story all together.

One of my girlfriends sent me a Facebook request to join a page to "bring Urban Outfitters to Grand Rapids." I didn't really pay attention, just thought, hmmmm, I've never shopped there. Fast forward a few days. I was in NYC this weekend visiting my cousin and we went into Urban Outfitters. To say I was out of place was the understatement of the century. I told Josh that if I tried to wear their clothes it would all be a complete "hoax." Just me trying to look a bit more indie, chill, a lot more not me. 

I'm more of a Gap, Old Navy, Banana Republic clearance section type of girl. 
So, back to my joy. I want to find joy in the small things. I want to enjoy my kids while they are small and not wish the time away because life is hectic. So, I have decided to do something about it. Every day, I'm going to do one thing that I would normally NOT do because I'm cleaning, doing dishes, talking on the phone, checking my e-mail...you get the picture. Just busy. I've been doing this lately. But now I'm going to update one time a day. It's going to force me to get back to blogging. 

No, I'm not organic eating mom, not patchouli wearing, just a typical middle-class mom who feeds her kids Spaghettios for lunch and yells at them to get back in bed for the eighth time tonight. I yell at my husband, and I'm not always nice. 

But guess what? Jesus loves me all the same. It is my responsibility to be the woman He calls me to be. He gave me this personality (neurotic as it is) and I'm going to be more proactive about finding my joy.

Today I had a tea party with Noah and Zoe and we had real tea. We got out all the fixins and even had cookies. Wow. Supermom. (that's a bit of sarcasm for you...)

* finding my joy

We all have struggles, and one of mine is struggling to unplug enough to have a tea party with my kids or to go for a walk when I know I should be preparing dinner. I'm always looking for the next project that needs to be completed and looking for the next few minutes of down time. The problem is, doing these type of things, being a bit more chill, is one of my desires.From now on every time I do something that is against my own nature but is in pursuit of trying to find my joy, I will tell you what I did at the end of that day's post and I will highlight it by putting this cute little bar here...You'll probably be surprised with how little and inconsequential these things are. I'm just a real mom who does not want to wish away the hard things and miss the joys of my young children. Every day, I make a consious effort to do one thing that I would not normally do because it is too messy, long-winded, or just what I don't want to do. I want my kids to grow up to remember a mom who loved them and experienced life with them.