ourbigmess

Noah

2009-11-11T21:36:00.002-05:00

So the Noahmeister has decided that sleep is no longer his friend. Not that he has been a great sleeper over the past couple of years, but who can blame the kid after all the crap the poor boy has gone through?

So, now that his life is stable, I think it's time for a normal sleep schedule. This means at least 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Is this too much to ask?

From Noah, yes.

Night before last he thought 1 a.m. was the perfect time to wake up for the day. I kept thinking he would eventually fall back asleep, but, alas, no. And with Noah, if he's not sleeping, neither is the momma.

So, we're working on a few ideas to help his "sleep hygiene." I know some of his sleep issues are learned behavior, but we know some of them are neurological. So, we are totally clueless how to help him. Do we just buckle down and get really strict or are we dealing with brain issues. Hmm...

pondering...

if you would, we would really appreciate your prayers for our sweet little boy. :-)

Snuggling

2009-10-29T17:42:00.002-04:00

I'm all snuggled up in the hotel room, the smell of the down blankets and pillows. The A/C is on full blast. I love it.

Josh is alwaaaaaays cold. I, on the other hand, am NOT.

Today, I control the thermostat.

Gonna order room service and not leave the room until tomorrow. Aaaaah (contented sigh)...

Nights away

2009-10-28T20:51:00.002-04:00

My hubby sent me away. I love him for it. There is something about getting away for a night or two that just refreshes this momma's soul. After a crazy three weeks (see the previous post from yesterday), I needed a break. Josh's dad came for a visit and to help with the two older kids, and my mom and sister got in on the fun with Ephram. So, I'm sitting here, doing a bunch of nothing and loving it. And will continue to do it until lunch on Friday. Yaaaay!!!!

2009-10-27T15:32:00.003-04:00

Life got hectic for a while. Thankfully it seems like we are getting back to normal...which is still hectic, but "predictable hectic."

Ephram got his first set of stitches on Sunday. He was playing in the top bunk with his sister and cousin and all of a sudden, I hear one of the girls screaming, "He's bleeding!" but in a panicky sort of way. I was being the non-supervising mom that I am and helping Josh in the bedroom when I heard the ruckus. Thankfully, Ephram calmed down pretty quickly and we headed out to the ER.

I was disappointed to have to miss church AGAIN, after having missed the last three weeks in a row with Josh being sick. Which is where the real stress was.

Josh went in to have a baclofen pump installed (a little metal hockey puck looking thingie that is in his abdomen and pumps the drug into his spinal column). We were supposed to be there all of about 24 hours. We figured we would be back up and running in the next few days. Wrong.

Josh got a spinal fluid leak, which in itself, is really not a huge deal. The problem was, no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the stinkin' thing to stop leaking. Josh ended up spending two weeks, with horrible headaches, lots of puking, and lots of laying flat on his back. Frustrating, but I knew he wasn't dying.

It was hard for Noah, who thought daddy was back at Mary Free Bed for the long haul like last time (three months) no matter how I tried to explain to him that daddy was just going to be gone a few days.

All in all, Josh was down for about 2 weeks and is now doing waaaay better.

We are now back to working on our new ministry that God has laid on our hearts called Real Time Church. We are excited to see where God is leading this. It's also nice to have this sense of peace, knowing we are doing exactly what the Lord is asking of us.

Loss

2009-09-23T20:48:00.003-04:00

Loss seems to be everywhere.

Not the kind of loss like I lost my keys.

Loss like I am ready for heaven.

People all around me are suffering. In the past 5 days, two different families have come to my attention after losing babies. Both of them were about 6 months old. Loss. Why?

I talk with my girlfriend who is dealing with her daughter having a brain tumor. Loss.

Children losing their childhood. Brothers and sisters losing their innocence.

With all this pain in this world, why do I cling to a God who could heal and yet doesn't? Or does he, just not like we ask?

When I feel like there are no answers for these questions, I think of what my life would be like without my faith and trust in God.

Ugly.

There is so little that one person can do for another. So, I do the one thing I can. PRAY!

Pray that the God of all Comfort will guard these families minds and hearts and use these circumstances to grow closer to Him. To the truth that sets us free.

Praying

2009-08-23T08:55:00.002-04:00

I've been doing a lot of praying lately. For one specific thing. During my quiet time this morning, I was reading about answered prayer. It got me thinking.

What happens if God chooses not to answer the way I want Him to? I know He will answer. I just may not like his answer. It causes me to ask some questions that I am not sure I want the answer to.

There have been numerous times in my life where I prayed and the answer was no. I remember while doing CPR on Ava, crying out to God to save her, knowing HE could, but he chose not to. I remember after Josh got hurt, praying for God to heal him, yet again, he chose not to.

Why would I choose to follow a Lord who allows me so much pain? Why is there so much pain we have to suffer? Why does God choose to heal some and not others? So many questions that will probably not be answered on this side of heaven.

Then I remember. How would I have ever made it through the trials in life without him? HE was the one who sustained me through my grief. He was the one who stood by me when no one else knew what to say. He was the one who carried me through when I thought I could not take another breath.

So, what happens if God's answer is "no" to my ever pleading request?

I know God will still be God. I will not question his sovereignty. He has proved that to me time and again. I will continue to question pain. Why he chooses to heal some and not others. If praying for healing will change God's mind or if it is more for me.

All I know is that if I continue to seek God, and not rely on the things of this world, I will continue to be sustained by my Father, the one who created the Earth, the one who created me, the one who cares about me, the one who cares about my heart.

2009-08-16T17:01:00.002-04:00

So, Josh finally refigured the blog so that we could have a comment section. He was highly irritated with it, but it's finally fixed!

Life has been going on like a real summer vacation. We have enjoyed days at the park, the lake, sprinklers on trampolines, and all kinds of summer fun. It has been gorgeous so we have been taking advantage of the weather.

Having this weather makes Josh want to move somewhere warm. His idea of warm is my idea of HOT! He is so often cold that having some warm weather is a welcome reprieve for him. Before his accident, he was always the hot one but now our roles have switched. Now, I am the one begging to turn on the a/c and he is the one saying "it's fine in here!"

It would not surprise me if we decided to eventually move to a warmer climate. We've heard from numerous different families who have moved to warmer climates after being injured. If that did happen, it's a few years in the making. We'll see where God leads us.

Josh has been spending a lot of time with his new website that he is about to open up. We are both passionate about helping people in times of crisis, so this is where God led. We are excited to see what God has in store.

It is our greatest desire to be a light for Christ. This desire often gets lost in the busyness of life, sin, or just our own selfish desires. We have been praying for God to make us more like his Son, but that change is hard. Our faults are obvious, our sins easy for all to see. We pray that God is going to use our ugliness for his kingdom.

We continue to cherish our time as a family. I am thankful for the gifts we have been given over the past few months. God has been ever present, even when things are/were difficult. When we felt like everything was falling apart, He gave us more of Himself. We continue to pursue him with abandon, being thankful that we are enjoying the journey.

4 Years

2009-08-03T10:06:00.007-04:00

Saturday was a hard day for us. Ava went to heaven four years ago, August 1st.
We miss her. Lots.

We spent the day with my parents and sister and her family. We went to the graveyard, let balloons go, and made a craft to leave at her headstone. We ate lunch together and watched the kids play at my parents house. It was eerily similar to what we did the first 2 months after Ava died.

We would sit on the driveway in front of my parents house, watching (or hovering) while the kids would play. We would talk and cry. A lot.
So, this is what we did again. And it felt good. Good to remember, to reminisce, to even take the time to talk about what we remember that day.

It felt good to just have an Ava Day.

Noah

2009-07-21T08:37:00.002-04:00

Noah has really been struggling lately. It hurts this momma's heart to see him like this.

Noah was born on June 22, 2002. He was our little surprise and we were so excited to be starting a family. I was being medicated for a seizure disorder so we knew that the medication could cause problems (mainly spina bifida). So when he was born with no apparent issues, we were overjoyed! Noah spent 4 days in the NICU after being vacuum-extracted and having quite a bruise on his head. It caused issues with his oxygen saturation and all kinds of other smaller issues. We brought him home thinking his problems were over. He began crying, refusing to eat, and just generally unhappy at about a week old. Generally unhappy does not describe the screaming we heard over the next many months. He was very late reaching milestones and we were already having him tested at 8 months of age.

All to say, we have always known Noah was different. We love him that way. It's just who he is.

But our struggle to keep Noah safe is another issue all together. The kid is crazy. No, for real. He has absolutely no concept of danger. He jumped out of our second story night before last. He knew he was in trouble for leaving his bedroom but we could NOT get him to understand that the real problem was the danger. Yesterday, he somehow managed to get the garage door to come off the track and come down at break-neck speed. Thankfully, no one was under it. A few weeks ago, he started a fire in my parents trailer in the garbage can. These are just a few examples of what we have been dealing with.

We are not dealing with a little boy who is devious or defiant. We are dealing with a little boy who seems to lack the decision making skills to make good decisions. We talked to his behavioral pediatrician at length yesterday and we feel like we may finally be getting somewhere. He believes Noah has a neurologic impairment, possibly in his frontal lobe, where decision-making lies. It seems like the doctors are finally starting to understand that we need help.

Noah needs constant supervision, "don't let the kid out of your sight" constant supervision. The things he manages to do is usually when he is alone for just a minute or two. When in his bedroom, we have installed a lock so that we know he cannot get out (so he goes out the window instead).

So, the race is back on to find help. Noah needs some form of a "label" to get the help he needs from the schools and the doctors. We are waiting for results for a metabolic disorder that causes neruologic impairment, but it had to be sent to Mayo Clinic so the wait is one to two weeks.

Any form of a label will not change who our sweet little boy is. For all of his craziness, he is nothing but sweet. He endears himself to almost all he meets. He is full of joy and laughter, pure innocence. Our greatest desire for Noah is for him to love the Lord and to be happy. If these two things hold true, we will consider it success. Greatest success.

Home

2009-07-19T22:01:00.001-04:00

Home from church camp. Looking forward to climbing into bed with my hubby. Saw lots of old friends. Renewed a few. Made lots of memories.

My feet are clean...finally.

It's finally here!

2009-07-12T20:48:00.003-04:00

So, I've been working with Josh on this for a loooong time. This blog has become more of my sounding board than anything he works with, so I didn't like the old domain name.

We have spent the last few months playing around with different looks and this is what we settled on. I'm excited for you to be able to see new pics of the family because I may actually be able to post them. The other site was NOT so user-friendly (at least to someone not too computer savvy).

Back to the usual stuff.

Prayer requests continue with Kate and you can keep checking it at the caringbridge site. This has been so heavy on my heart the last few weeks. People all over the country are praying for Kate and it has been a such a testament of God's faithfulness during suffering. Times are hard for the family right now and we need to be on our knees for them.

I remember the "before and after" mode that was mentioned in the latest update and it made me feel a little sick. I recall looking at the dates in magazines, newspapers, TV, etc. looking at every date before August 1st, 2005; that was the old me. Before.

Then came August 1st and everything after this was the After mode.

I don't quite live like this anymore. It shows me that life goes on. New memories are made and the old ones sweeten with time. I don't think about the horror of that day as much as just about my little girl, Ava, who was only with us for a few short months.

I remember feeling that those feelings of desperation were never going to pass. They did and now I kind of miss them at times. It always makes her seem closer.

After Josh got hurt, I remember thinking our life was never going to be the same. In many ways, it's not. But in most ways, it is. He's still the same guy. I'm still the same girl. We still like each other and drive each other crazy.

After being with Phoenix I was struck with one thing: that watching Josh suffer is not like watching your child suffer. Yes, it was heart-wrenching to watch Josh go through his accident, but there is something about the innocence of a child. Knowing that there is no way to explain to a five year old why they have to go through the suffering you are intentionally putting them through, knowing it's for their good.

Most children trust their parents. Seeing the look in Kate's eyes when she questions Holly was hard for ME to watch, I can't imagine the pain Holly was in. It made me realize that the heartbreak Holly is experiencing is so different when it's your child. I pray that God would sustain Holly and give Kate peace.

One last thing, Noah is back into the testing grind. Still looking for a diagnosis so that he can get the help he needs. He went to two specialists last week and they decided to retest him completely. Looking again at the autism spectrum. At this point, we really don't care what they "label" him, it doesn't change who our sweet little Noah is.

We are talking to the doctor again tomorrow about some specific concerns and the possibility of a metabolic disorder that caused his problems. Not sure who they will send us to next. I know, in comparison to what Holly is going through, this is just small potatoes. But my heart aches for my son. I want him to love life, be accepted by his peers, love the Lord. I have come to realize that so much of my desires for him do not really matter as long as he understands there is a God who died on the cross for him and he chooses to follow him. That's all that really matters.

p.s.

The comments are broken. :(

If you want to leave a comment, do so at my facebook page...

Comments not working yet :(

2009-07-11T11:26:00.003-04:00

(Josh posting)

Shelly is at Camp in Hastings this week. She doesn't have Internet access so she probably doesn't realize about the comment section on the blog isn't working. I'm the one who did all the layout... so don't tell her. Maybe I can fix it before she gets back. He he he he.

If you want to leave a comment, do it at her facebook page...

Phoenix

2009-07-02T20:54:00.000-04:00

I am in Phoenix, attempting to support Holly and family while their life seemingly falls apart. There are so many unknowns right now and all we can do is pray. We are crying out to God for mercy, to heal little Kate. The doctors have not been extremely encouraging and Holly has been in desperation mode many times over the last two days. Please pray for peace for the whole family. Pray that Kate is not scared. Pray that the doctors are wise in their decision making and that God's hand is used in the surgery.

Kate will be having brain surgery on Friday to take out the portion of the tumor that is reachable. The doctors have been clear that it is not completely operable. The risk to take out the entire tumor is too great. At this point, they are not sure of the type of cancer they are dealing with, only that it is aggressive and fast-growing.

Please be praying that the doctors are able to determine exactly what to take out during the surgery. The doctor did say that once in a while, they go in and the tumor "peals away nicely" from the vessels and is able to be dissected completely. This is our earnest prayer. We know God is able to heal Kate without the use of doctors, but we know He is also able to heal her using other means. We pray for a divine healing- for little Katie's life to be spared.

You can find her updates at www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate Sorry, you may need to cut and paste cuz this momma is not too computer savvy! :-)

Love you, all my faithful prayer warriors. It's time to rally around another family this time. Please keep them close to your heart.

PRAY!!!!

2009-06-30T20:52:00.000-04:00

I have talked, over the years, about my best friend Holly. She and her husband are out in Phoenix planting a church and are desperately in love with the Lord. She called about an hour ago. Her 5 and a half year old daughter Kate is in the ICU with a brain tumor they just found a few hours ago. Please be praying. Pray for peace, God's will, and healing. We know our God is able and we pray for this to be His will!!!!! We'll keep you updated!

Today

2009-06-30T20:51:00.000-04:00

So I know i was talking about posting every day but I have Josh on a mission. He is moving every blog entry, since Ava's home-going, to one central blog. We have been busy doing this. :-)

I went out with a few friends for a while tonight. It was nice to spend time with girlies and enjoy sharing "mothering" stories and where we are. Each one of us has our own struggles, our own issues. Josh was at home with a few boys enjoying his time also.

Look for our new space in the next few days...

The Lord is putting a call on my heart about where He is calling us to go. Kinda' scares me, kinda excites me. Please be in prayer. Right now, I feel my job is to pursue my relationship with him and just go after Him with all my heart.

*today I let Noah make the mac and cheese from start to finish. The mess was incredible, the noodles were undercooked, but he was sooo proud of himself. He needed a major bath after the debacle, but he was one happy boy!

>>> why the blog changes? <

2009-06-09T20:07:00.001-04:00

Many of you have been following this blog for a while. We had a major format change about a year and a half ago. So many of you might ask, "why change it again???"

Two reasons.

One, the new blog is a bit more visual. You have to admit that same old palm tree was getting kind of lame.

Two, more importantly, the new blog is easier for me to update and to add content to. I need some serious help in this area.

The basic problem so far is that we have lost thousands of comments. Josh has not given up on trying to find them in cyber space... but we will see. I'm not making any promises.

Anyway, hope you like it. Yippee!

* finding my joy

2009-06-08T19:23:00.000-04:00

We all have struggles, and one of mine is struggling to unplug enough to have a tea party with my kids or to go for a walk when I know I should be preparing dinner. I'm always looking for the next project that needs to be completed and looking for the next few minutes of down time. The problem is, doing these type of things, being a bit more chill, is one of my desires.From now on every time I do something that is against my own nature but is in pursuit of trying to find my joy, I will tell you what I did at the end of that day's post and I will highlight it by putting this cute little bar here...You'll probably be surprised with how little and inconsequential these things are. I'm just a real mom who does not want to wish away the hard things and miss the joys of my young children. Every day, I make a consious effort to do one thing that I would not normally do because it is too messy, long-winded, or just what I don't want to do. I want my kids to grow up to remember a mom who loved them and experienced life with them.

sick

2009-06-11T01:12:00.000-04:00

Why do mom's have to get sick??? Doesn't the Lord know I don't have time for this? :-) Josh is pulling daddy duty with movie night tonight and I'm heading to bed early. Throwing up is not a classy act. Oh well.

Today I let Noah mow the grass with me, even though I could only go half as fast. I just wanted to get it over with. But if you know Noah, you know the boy is obsessed with tractors. So, I let him "help" me for a little while to get his fill. When he got off he says, "Aren't you going to say thank-you mommy?" Like he was my big helper...hah hah. Thought that was cute.

9th

2009-06-10T01:13:00.000-04:00

Today is our 9th anniversary. All of our family forgot. Anniversaries are a pretty big deal around here. You can imagine the horror when my mom called about a half-hour ago, spitting apologies. The only reason she remembered is she got a reminder call from my sister. I had to tell my sister tonight. Josh told my brother-in-law. It actually makes me smile.
It was a pretty big one for us. Life has changed a lot in the last nine years. I'm happy with the choice I made when I decided to devote my life to this man who lays beside me. Life has thrown us a few curve balls but we're in this together.

Today I held up Ephram by the sink and let him play in the water for about five minutes. Even though I knew what a mess it would make...his little squeals made it all worth it.

finding my joy

2009-06-09T01:15:00.000-04:00

I know my true joy comes from God but this is an area I struggle with. I think laid back people are generally more joyful than intense people. I know I am intense. I am reminded of it every day, many times over (usually by myself as in I drive myselfcrazy).
So, I read a lot of blogs. There are so many women who have it all together. They wake up and their house is neat and breakfast is not a crazy struggle. They love cuddling with their kids and taking walks. They love baking cookies together and picking flowers. Don't get me wrong. I do enjoy doing these things. I just have to work at it.
When I wake up, it is usually to chaos. Noah needs his meds, Josh's nurse is coming in the door, Ephram has wet through his sheets for the third time this week, and Zoe is starving. Making eggs sounds like too much work because then I will have to clean a dirty pan. Who wants Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Healthy, I know. I have learned to make eggs in the microwave. I am the queen of microwave pancakes.

So, am I am normal? Why do I have to work at it? Why am I not just a bit more "chill," a little more "Urban Outfitters" which is a whole nother story all together.

One of my girlfriends sent me a Facebook request to join a page to "bring Urban Outfitters to Grand Rapids." I didn't really pay attention, just thought, hmmmm, I've never shopped there. Fast forward a few days. I was in NYC this weekend visiting my cousin and we went into Urban Outfitters. To say I was out of place was the understatement of the century. I told Josh that if I tried to wear their clothes it would all be a complete "hoax." Just me trying to look a bit more indie, chill, a lot more not me.

I'm more of a Gap, Old Navy, Banana Republic clearance section type of girl.
So, back to my joy. I want to find joy in the small things. I want to enjoy my kids while they are small and not wish the time away because life is hectic. So, I have decided to do something about it. Every day, I'm going to do one thing that I would normally NOT do because I'm cleaning, doing dishes, talking on the phone, checking my e-mail...you get the picture. Just busy. I've been doing this lately. But now I'm going to update one time a day. It's going to force me to get back to blogging.

No, I'm not organic eating mom, not patchouli wearing, just a typical middle-class mom who feeds her kids Spaghettios for lunch and yells at them to get back in bed for the eighth time tonight. I yell at my husband, and I'm not always nice.

But guess what? Jesus loves me all the same. It is my responsibility to be the woman He calls me to be. He gave me this personality (neurotic as it is) and I'm going to be more proactive about finding my joy.

Today I had a tea party with Noah and Zoe and we had real tea. We got out all the fixins and even had cookies. Wow. Supermom. (that's a bit of sarcasm for you...)

A Memorial

2005-08-18T03:06:00.001-04:00

I have been fighting this for a couple years now (since whenever it was that blogs became the "it" thing to do) but I have finally given in and begun to write a web log.

Many of you know about the recent tragedy in our family. On August 1, 2005, our little Ava Nicole left this Earth after only being here with us for 3 short months. She was our third child, and she brought so much joy to our lives.

No sentence that Shelly or I might compose could capture the pain that we feel right now. No little bit of blogging will make Ava any more present to us. But hopefully as you read some thoughts or stories about her, or as you sense healing progressing in our lives, this blog will serve as a memorial to her, and to the hope that we have in the promises of Christ.

Crying...

2005-08-21T23:57:00.001-04:00

First day back at church in Kalamazoo so josh could lead music. spent the majority of the service crying as everything seems related to Ava. Every song we sing, every Bible verse mentioned, and just being back at church without her. Lots of love from our church family. Then had a Greenhouse core meeting tonight here at mom and dad syswerda's. went well. we're getting psyched to kick this thing off. gives us something to concentrate on, maybe a small break in the grieving process. continue to be amazed at god's mercy and comfort he has shown us at a time like this. we serve an awesome god. so cliche but proving more true every day.

written by Shelly

Shelly's Reflections

2005-08-20T11:16:00.001-04:00

Just got back from hanging out with some friends with a new baby girl. Surprised at how much our lives have changed in the past three weeks; from being the mom and dad of an infant and two toddlers to just two toddlers. It seems like my head is starting to understand a small fraction of it but my heart has a long way to catch up... maybe it never will. Josh and I have a lot of work and decisions to make in regards to our house (staying or selling), financial situations, and family stability issues. We are trying to see what is best for our kids while trying to make decisions that will keep us sane for the time being. I was listening to a Matt Redman song (I think that's who sings it) where the lyrics are "blessed be the name of Lord" and then goes on to say "you give and take away, you give and take away, buy my heart will choose to say Lord blessed be your name." I pretty much have to just whisper through the tears but we do hold this as the ultimate truth. God has been incredibly faithful to us through this.

Posted by Shelly

Family and Friends

2005-08-20T00:11:00.001-04:00

Hey...

Shelly and I wanted to take a second to tell you all how much we appreciate your love, support, and prayers. The amount of cards, phone calls, and visits the past two and a half weeks have been overwhelming (a positive thing!)

We have been staying at Shelly's parent's house in Allendale. They have a wonderful piece of property and a beautiful house that I have always loved coming to (not to mention how much Shelly and the kids love being here)... I guess when it comes down to it, it is a good place to heal. But even being here gets tiresome with so many people in and out. We have had the blessing of having two brief times away in the past two weeks. The Friday following the graveside service and open house, we took off for 5 nights to a beautiful beach house on the bluffs overlooking Lake Michigan (thanks D & K).

Then Thursday afternoon the weather was kinda crappy, so we went to this hotel / indoor waterpark thingy (see pic)... and Noah and Zoe... and Elijah, Emmy, Ezekiel (my niece and nephews) had a fantastic time.

Our kids have been amazing through this whole experience. At first Noah kept asking, "weao babby Abba?" (that is what he called her, Abba). Zoe did the same, but has now picked up on the fact that, "Ava upa sky... Ava upa sky wit Jesus." Don't ask how our little 25 month daughter picekd up on that fact, but she says it so matter of factly... , like, duh you guys. Of course that is whtat is going on.

Aches, Sweat, and Such

2005-08-25T22:30:00.001-04:00

It is a daily slow dull ache. Details, things that catch you by suprise, smells, strollers...

Today on the way home from the office I drove by a medical building that just four weeks ago I was sitting in front of with all three kids while Shelly had an appointment. Things were so normal then. But today, that seems like a different life ago. We are calling then Josh and Shelly version 1.0 and now Josh and Shelly version 2.0.

Seeing that building sent me into a 6 hour funk. I don't know why, but the normality of what we had was so poingnant today...

Last Friday night, while we were still at the water-park/hotel, Jason, Holly, Shelly and I discussed our going back to work schedule. At this point, church planting is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because the schedule can be so flexible, but it is also very tough because ther is no boss handing me a paycheck every Sunday. To make this things work, we have to GO AFTER IT. So this is what we discussed last Friday.

We decided that we would hit it hard last Monday. So this week we have been moving into our office and scheduling more Sundays for support. We cleared out one of the larger upper rooms, repainted, hung new lights, bought some cheapo office furniture, and began to move our books and stuff in. We worked up plenty-o-sweat.

Speaking of meeting space, I wanted to pass along an amazing blessing that God has dropped in our collective Greenhouse lap. For months we have been finagling, scheming, schmoozing, and generally working our ambition all we could... to no avail...

But a few months ago we bumped into Pastor Tom Archer from Common Grounds in Eastown (Fulton Heights)... As we developed this relationship Tom began to see our vison for Eastown, and we began to see his shephards heart. To get to the point, their fantastically big, old, charming, stain glass windowed, brick church is going to be available for us to meet in on sunday nights and is open for office space for a ridiculously good deal (details withheld out of good manners.) But let me tell you, they have really stepped up to the plate for us.

Here is a picture...

Looks like we are going to be starting earlier in the fall than we previoiusly thought. That is a good thing!!!

God is in control and we aren't. That is one of the only things I know, but it is a good thing. Just imagine all the chaos if I were God.

Blessing on you all...